How to write a novel

The one thing necessary in a novel of romance is romance. The ordinary novel reader is a dull bird, who knows little, and cares less, about the facts of history, the cut of a cloak, or the geography of a particular country. To him anachronisms do not, exist, because he would not know one if he saw it in a cage. Of course I don’t mean you, dear reader; but you must admit that the vast majority of the reading public is made up of dull, unthinking people, so why should writers spend so much time substantiating facts, studying costumes and scenery and other details that do not affect the real interest of the story, which is and must be the romantic portion of it?How to write a novel

How to write a novel- Firstly ask yourself: Why do you want to write a novel? Do you have a story to tell, a message to convey, or do you perhaps hope to inspire/challenge, entertain, be famous, reach out to others, reach into your own mind. Do you perhaps want a new identity, to reach your potential as a writer? I think that a person’s motives often change as your writing proceeds.

How to write a novel-It takes a great deal of effort to write, so PLAN ahead. Organize a few hours a day, when you won’t be disturbed. WHOOA - hardly likely! The average length of a novel is 60000-100000 words. I’ve never counted mine. I keep my books short for two main reasons: number one, and most importantly, to tell a story as simply as possible with a message…and for purely financial considerations. I lived without a cent of income from my books for two years, when I started out. So I hurried to get them out, to earn some royalties…and save my family from starvation. Or the embarrassment of the soup kitchen!

How to write a novel- This is the biggest distraction faced by the modern novelist. The internet is an insistent, ever-present enticement which comes out of the very box you are writing on. In the old days if you wanted to play poker in order to escape the tyranny of the blank page you had to put on your coat and go out. Now you just have to move your index finger slightly. I could suggest you disconnect yourself from the Internet while writing, but it’s actually an incredibly useful tool for digging out the sort of detail - a weather report from a specific date six years ago, what a radio transcript looks like, a few lines from an old jingle - you used to have to assemble over months and keep in a big folder. It’s really a question of whether the time saved outweighs the time you spend watching a YouTube video of a monkey drinking its own pee.

How to write a novel- Pick it back up and revise - After you cool off from the book for a while, pull it back out, and start reading it. You will find errors and problems you didn’t notice the day after you finished writing it.

You may discover plot holes, or parts of dialogue that need work.

Now is the time when you worry about if your work sucks or not. Now is when you take a hard, objective, look at it. Fix everything that you think is wrong with it.

How to write a novel-  You need a small number of people who will agree to read your book and give you the unvarnished truth about it. This might be a writing group or a local book group or (most likely) a few select friends and family members. Try to choose people who are representative of your target audience, and who you trust not to just butter you up with useless flattery.

How to write a novel- You’ve learned your first lesson, newbie. Take care of life. Eating, exercise, confabs with friends and family, taking a good walk, listening to music, having sex, bathing, having sex while bathing, having sex while bathing and listening to music, these are the things life is made of, and being of and in the world helps your writing. Believe me. About everything other than putting the boom box next to the tub when you’re having sex.

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